don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
