i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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