I want to make a zoo with you.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
