I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize