that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
