biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
