My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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