How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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