this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
