I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize