last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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