the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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