on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
