every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
