'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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