It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize