cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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