Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Someone signed my nipple.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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