So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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