I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
