i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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