Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
