Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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