therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
as a side note pls kill me
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
