STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
