one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
