try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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