let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
