Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
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