Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
