i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
