Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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