He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
