You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
