Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
