So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
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