Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
