Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize