her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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