A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
