i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
