No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
