She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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