Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize