can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
