Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
