Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
