Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
