My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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