Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
