So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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