Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
