he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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