i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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