Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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