Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
