so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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