Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
