You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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