The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
