NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
