Only a mothe r could love this liver
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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